Do you ever get down on yourself? It happens to all of us at times. It happens when we believe we do not measure up to our own standards, when we fail to do what we planned, when we compulsively repeat old habits we thought we had left behind, when our dreams are not fulfilled, and when our hopes are not realized.
At such times the “if onlys” of past days invade the “what ifs” of the present and robs our joy. “If only I had done things differently . . . if only I had gone to college . . . If only I had not married the person I married . . . if only I had used more wisdom . . . if only I had been stronger . . . If . . . if . . . if . . .” becomes a dirge of self-incrimination and the joy of living is lost.
Because we have the ability to remember things we said or did in the past we have a tremendous capacity for self-scrutiny. The memory of past failures, of the things we did that we should not have done, and the things we should have done that we did not do, rush to the front of our consciousness. Discouragement and depression set in.
Our conscience shakes an accusing finger in our face. Self-condemnation takes over and self-esteem drains out. It is at such times that we become very vulnerable and far more likely to do things we said we would never do. The end result is that we are made to feel knee high to a grasshopper. It becomes easy for us to treat others harshly because we have a low image of ourselves.
It is extremely difficult to get up for life when we are down on ourselves, isn’t it? What would it take in times of self-condemnation to develop a whole new picture of ourselves as loved and lovable, as forgiven and forgiving? If we would do that, it would make a tremendous difference.
Henri Bergson said in one of his books that it is the function of the brain not just to remember but to also forget. But why do we so easily forget things we want to remember and remember things we definitely need to forget? Why does one failure stick in our memory so strongly when hundreds of achievements are so easily forgotten?
Some people spend lots of money attending courses in an attempt to improve their memory, but I have never heard of anyone attending a course that teaches you to forget. How does one develop the ability to forget what should be forgotten? It is the things that we wish we could forget that creates chaos in families and divisions in churches.
A healthy forgetter can only be developed by the power of forgiveness. The memory of our failures can only be erased by learning how to accept God’s forgiveness and by choosing to forgive ourselves. We see this supremely demonstrated in the encounter by Jesus with a woman who was caught in adultery (John 7:53 through 8:11).
Put yourself in this scene: Jesus is teaching in the precincts of the Temple when His teaching is interrupted by the jeers and frenzied cries of an approaching crowd led by scribes and Pharisees dragging an unresisting woman. The Old Testament law (Leviticus 20:10) declared that a person caught in adultery be stoned to death.
The hypocritical scribes and Pharisees pushed her down before Jesus. They asked Him to affirm the law’s verdict. The self-righteousness of the woman’s accusers and her embarrassment are evident in this scene. Would Jesus forgive her? The answer is in the affirmative. She went away totally cleansed and forgiven. She no longer had to deal with “what ifs” and “if onlys,” for she had met Jesus Christ and had been transformed into a totally new person.
Are you ever bothered by “what ifs” and “if onlys?” If so, Jesus Christ, the Great Physician, is able to help you move beyond them into a meaningful present and toward a positive future.
The Paper Pulpit 
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