June is the month when lots of weddings are scheduled. Happily, some marriages last for a lifetime, but others will end up being little more than a short term option. Any marriage that is built on nothing more than a passing emotional experience will definitely face tons of difficulties. It is not enough to be in love with love. To be married you must learn to love one person deeply, maturely, and unselfishly, so that his or her happiness is more precious to you than your own.
In other words, you should be able to say with all your heart to the one you love the words found in the poem, Bathsheeba, written by Virginia Rogers:
“You are my world,
You are my sun, my star:
There is no life for me
Save where you are.”
Physical attraction is obviously important in the choosing of a mate. This is true because true love is a deep and stirring emotional experience, providing the dynamic that will carry a bride and groom through all the tests and crises married life will bring. Any couple getting married should seek to have a matching of the minds, characteristics and ideals, a growing understanding, and a wealth of common interests and activities. This social aspect of love is vitally important.
Couples standing at the marriage altar should definitely not overlook or underestimate the spiritual element that gives love its staying power, its unselfishness, and joy even in sacrifice. Love that contains these qualities is born of God, and those who truly love each other are confident that God has not only brought them together but shares in the whole experience with them. “If we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us” (I John 4:12).
It is important that those getting married have respect for each other’s personality and ideas, a similarity in tastes, ideals, and leisure-time activities, and a genuine interest and appreciation where they differ. Having a growing understanding of each other’s moods and reactions in varying life situations strengthens love. There should be no challenge or problem – big or small – that should not be discussed. True love is revealed by such standards.
You don’t have to be young to fall in love and decide to get married. For example, I recently read the account an unusual marriage. Rev. Estill Franklin, 103, a retired Methodist minister, and Fern Brown, 90, were married in the chapel at the Wesley Manor Retirement Village in Crawfordville, Indiana. After the ceremony, the newlyweds took a honeymoon ride around town in a limousine and returned to the retirement home for a small reception. Asked their plans for the rest of the day, the ninety year-old bride replied: “A nap. All of this has worn me out.”
In Madison, Tennessee a pastor was called to a nursing home to perform a wedding. An elderly man met him at the door. The pastor sat down to counsel the man, and in the process he asked him these questions:
“Do you love her?” The man answered, “Nope.”
“Is she a good woman?” “I don’t know for sure,” he replied.
“Does she have lots of money?” asked the pastor. “I doubt it,” he said.
“Then why are you marrying her?” the preacher asked. He answered, “Because she can drive at night!”
The Paper Pulpit 
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