Humor has long been a time-honored way to deal with conflict between husbands and wives. Dr. I.E. Gates, former president of Wayland Baptist College, tells the story of a blackmailer who sent a letter to a man which said, “If you do not place $50,000 in a hollow stump (naming the location of the stump) by 6 o’clock tomorrow afternoon, I am going to kidnap your wife.”
The husband was not able to raise $50,000 that quickly, so he wrote on the bottom of the ransom note a message and put it in the stump where the kidnapper told him to put the money. It said, “Dear kidnapper: I haven’t been able to raise the $50,000 as you requested, but your proposition interests me.” He apparently didn’t have an idyllic marriage.
A different kind of story involves a young bride and groom who visited an older couple as they were celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. “Fifty years!” one of them exclaimed. “That is a long time to be married to one person.” The old gentleman looked over at his wife with love showing in his eyes and said, “It would have been a lot longer without her.” What a tremendous testimony! It describes what God designed a marriage to be.
The goal of every husband and wife should be to have a happy marriage. We were not created by God to be alone. Biologically, emotionally, and spiritually we were created to reach out to one another. God’s design for the marriage relationship is that we experience ecstasy, not agony. This is clearly taught in the Genesis account of creation when God saw that Adam was lonely and created Eve to become his companion.
According to the Bible, marriage is for a man the permanent union with one woman involving the procreation and education of children, the provision of a home, and the constant care for the spiritual and material welfare of his household. For the woman, marriage is ideally an indissoluble union with one man involving the birth and education of children, homemaking, and housekeeping (and many today choose a career outside the home).
Since marriage is a serious relationship, it naturally follows that the same rules govern its success as govern the success of other careers: adequate preparation, intelligent earnestness, persistent industry, and the will to succeed. Marriage demands all of these plus the anointed strength of genuine love. To have ecstasy, not agony, in your marriage, you must have four very important things:
COMPASSION: There are few things as sad as a husband and wife who have lived together for fifty years and have lost their ability to feel compassion for one another. Also, there are few things, if any, more special than seeing a husband and wife live together for half a century or more whose hearts still beat rapidly in each other’s presence.
COMMITMENT: Jesus, during the days of His flesh, personified the grace of God lived out in love, forgiveness, and acceptance. Knowing that about Him, we should view all our relationships – especially marriage – with the utmost seriousness. Marriage is not for children, but for adults who love one another, and who genuinely care for one another. Marriages may be made in heaven, but God puts both husband and wife in charge of the maintenance here on earth.
COMMUNICATION: It has been said that some women become widows on their wedding day, and it is true. The biggest complaint women have about their husbands is in the area of communication. One man said to a friend: “My wife says that I don’t listen to her. At least, I think that is what she said.” Guys, does this describe you?
COOPERATION: The Genesis account of creation does not say that God saw Adam’s loneliness and gave him a servant, or a slave, or a pet. The Living Bible puts it this way: “A companion for him, a helper suited for his needs.” If you have these “four big C’s” in your marriage, they add up to the most important “C” of all – “Christlikeness.”
The Paper Pulpit 
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