God paused after the sixth day of Creation to evaluate His work, and, “He saw that it was good” (Genesis 1:25). Only one more task remained. At this point “God formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living soul” (Genesis 2:7). Adam would fulfill a role no other creature could – he would have fellowship with God and be the object of His love.
After God placed Adam in the Garden of Eden He observed that something was still missing. Genesis 2:18 tells us what it is: “And the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’” Adam was lonely because he had absolutely no one with whom to share the living of his days. It was the first time God said of anything He had created, “It is not good!”
God recognized that Adam had a strong need for contact with another human being – a need He had built into him. Eve would be the object of Adam’s love and would love him in return. She would share the wonders of creation and the responsibilities of stewardship. What this tells us is that by God’s design all human beings have an innate need to be loved and to belong. Through our relationship with family, friends, co-workers and others, we form our sense of individuality and find our place in the mosaic of life. It is when that need for affection and fellowship goes unfulfilled that we become restless, unhappy, and lonely.
If you are struggling with loneliness you are not alone. Loneliness does not develop overnight. It can be the result of a lifetime of influences that shape our personality. Or it can evolve after a major transition or trauma. Often we are unaware of the subtle forces that can slowly lead us into self-imposed isolation. Many things can lead a person to be lonely: unaffectionate parents, social factors, and the influence of technology such as addiction to watching television or cell phone overuse. Loneliness, by whatever it is caused — these factors or others — can lead to alcoholism, drug addiction, family breakdown, and many other negative things.
As the story of Adam and Eve illustrates, God intends for us to share our lives with other people. Both the Old and New Testaments have a lot to say about marriage, parenthood, friendship and church fellowship. But fellowship with God is the relationship of preeminent importance. A dynamic walk with God is a solid foundation for building relationships with others. Karl Menninger, renowned psychologist, said to those who are lonely, “Lock the door behind you, go across the street, find someone who is hurting, and help him (or her).” It is good advice. Helping someone else shifts your attention from your problems to the needs of others. Perhaps this is why Joseph Fort Newton said, “People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.”
You have probably heard suggestions from well-meaning friends like these: “Join a club,” or “Do some traveling.” They aren’t bad ideas, but they aren’t solutions to the problem of loneliness either. The following steps will help you break free from the prison loneliness easily becomes: (1) admit your problems; (2) Consider the causes; (3) Accept what cannot be changed; (4) Change what can be changed; (5) Work at developing new habits that build up your inner self; and (6) Give time and effort to the goal of making new friends.
James Russell Lowell, in The Forlorn, wrote these wise words:
“Whom the heart of man shuts out,
Sometimes the heart of God takes in,
And fences them all round about
With silence mid the world’s loud din.”
The Paper Pulpit 
Leave a Reply