Southern Baptist churches choose their pastors by electing what is called a “Pulpit Committee.” This committee then gathers the names of potential candidates from many sources, hears each one preach, and enters into serious discussion and prayer with the candidate they are convinced that God would have them select. They then recommend him to their congregation for its vote of approval. To show you the magnitude of this committee’s task, the following is an imaginary sample of the prospective pastors who might be available for their consideration:
ADAM – A good man, but had problems with his wife. Also, one reference told us that he and his wife enjoy walking nude in the woods.
NOAH – He served a former pastorate for 100 years with not even one convert. And he was prone to push unrealistic building projects.
ABRAHAM – An able man, but one reference said he once offered to share his wife with another man.
JOSEPH – Thinks big, believes in dream interpretation, and has a prison record.
MOSES – A modest and meek man, but a poor communicator – even stutters at times. Sometimes blows his stack and acts rashly, and he once murdered a man.
DAVID – A most promising leader – that is, until we discovered the affair he had with his neighbor’s wife, then had her husband killed so he could take her as his own wife.
ELIJAH – Has a strong reputation, but is prone to depression.
ELISHA – Reported to have lived with a single widow while in his former church.
HOSEA – A loving and tender pastor, but our church could never handle his wife’s occupation.
JEREMIAH – Emotionally unstable, alarmist, always lamenting things. He also once took a long trip to bury his underwear on the bank of a foreign river. Strange! Very strange!
ISAIAH – Claims to have seen angels in church. Has trouble with his language.
JONAH – He refused God’s call into the ministry until he was forced to obey. And, if you can believe it, he claims to have been swallowed by a fish.
AMOS – Too backward and unpolished! With some seminary training he might have promise, but he has a hang-up against wealthy people. And his preaching is too blunt.
JOHN – Claims to be a Baptist, but is a very shabby dresser. He has slept outdoors for months on end, and has a weird diet – eating grasshoppers, if you can believe that!
JOHN MARK – Went on a mission trip with Paul as a young preacher, but when the going got tough he threw up his hands, chickened out, and went home.
PETER – Has great ability, but has a bad temper, and has been known to curse.
PAUL – Powerful CEO type leader. However, he is short on tact, unforgiving with young ministers, harsh and has been known to preach all night.
TIMOTHY – Too young!
METHUSELAH – Too old . . . WAY too old!
The Paper Pulpit 
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