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C.S. Lewis, one of my favorite authors, in his book The Four Loves identified three attitudes in love: need love, gift love, and appreciative love.

In terms of human love, the love of a man for a woman or of a woman for a man, need love would say: “I cannot live without you.”

Gift love would say: “The most important thing in the world for me is that I meet your needs and make you happy.”

Appreciative love rejoices in his or her very existence, and gives thanks for all the fine qualities that he or she possesses.

In terms of our relationship with God, need love drives us to God with an awareness that life cannot be dealt with in a constructive way apart from Him. Gift love finds joy and happiness in serving God. Appreciative love gives thanks and glory to God for His very existence and for the marvelous handiwork of His creation. If our relationship with God is healthy, it should and will contain all three.

Let us look more specifically at how faith is involved in these three kinds or levels of love:

NEED LOVE: It is out of a sense of need that humans begin to love. The cry of the human heart is expressed in the words of the Christian hymn, “I Need Thee Every Hour.” Abraham Lincoln frankly confessed: “I have often been driven to my knees in prayer, because I had nowhere else to go.” He realized that his own resources were extremely limited, and he needed strength that only God could provide.

It is characteristic of human beings to be dependent on others. Dependence on God is the very essence of the Christian faith in the same way that dependence on others is the essence of humanity. How much less meaningful and joyful our lives would be without the support of others.

GIFT LOVE: The love which thinks only in terms taking or getting is not true love. Genuine love instinctively thinks in terms of giving. Great joy is derived from the giving of oneself to the one who is loved. You can give without loving, but you can’t love without giving.

In human love, there is a certain danger in gift love. It is possible to be so anxious to give and to protect someone that it may in the end create in the person loved an almost complete dependence. Thus, it has the potential to smother instead of develop the personality of the one who is loved.

Gift love is well aware that it is in serving God that we find perfect freedom – freedom to become the persons God created us to be, freedom to become our best selves. It is in knowing this kind of freedom that inner peace is found.

The initial gift that we should bring to God is ourselves. If we give ourselves to Him, He will automatically have first priority on our time, talents, and resources.

APPRECIATIVE LOVE: Need love is instinctive; gift love arises naturally in the heart of any person who has a desire to love. Appreciative love is different in that it has to be consciously and consistently cultivated and grow out of an attitude of gratitude.

In human relationships we often find it easy to take for granted the love, care, and service that we receive from others. In our relationship with God we also find it easy to take His blessings for granted.

Need love; gift love; and appreciative love. Life at its fullest and best needs and must contain all three. Persons who have never experienced even one of these three are undoubtedly the most deprived people in the world. Poet John Oxenham, in Love’s Prerogative, explains why this is true:

“Love ever gives—
Forgives—outlives—
And ever stands
With open hands.
And while it lives,
It gives.
For this is love’s prerogative—
To give—and give—and give.”

The sporting world was shocked when former New England Patriot tight end, Aaron Hernandez, was discovered dead, hanging in his prison cell from a bed sheet with the Bible verse John 3:16 written in red ink on his forehead. This special verse was also found written in blood on one of the walls of his cell.

This verse reads, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” It has been appropriately called “the gospel in a nutshell” . . . “the golden text of the Bible” . . . and “the diamond of the Scriptures.”

Many have asked how God could possibly forgive a man who had so cruelly taken the life of an innocent person. Would God do that? Is it true? From a human perspective it doesn’t seem likely or even possible, but from God’s perspective the answer is an unqualified “yes” (see I John 1:9).

In order to understand what John 3:16 really means, and whether or not Hernandez could be fully forgiven for such a despicable deed, we need to go back to the original context of how John 3:16 was originally communicated. It was recorded by John, a fisherman, who was one of Christ’s twelve disciples. John refers to himself as an eyewitness when Jesus was speaking to the Jewish leader Nicodemus. The miracles and teaching of Jesus had convinced this Jewish leader that Jesus knew the secret to eternal life.

Jesus shared the mysteries of God’s love with Nicodemus by telling him why He had come to the earth, and how he could have eternal life. In other words, Jesus was on a rescue mission to save a lost world. So, what did Jesus tell Nicodemus about eternal life? He didn’t tell him to become more religious. Neither did He tell him to give more money or to do more good deeds. What any person, including Nicodemus, must do to have eternal life is to accept God’s love as expressed in the words of John 3:16.

God in the beginning created Adam and Eve in His image, pure and holy. But their disobedience injected sin into the DNA of the human race. Romans 6:23 tells us, “The wages of sin is death (separation from God), but the gift of God (His love as demonstrated at Calvary) is eternal life.”

John 3:16 is the most popular verse in the Bible. This is because it focuses on God’s love as demonstrated at Calvary. It paints a beautiful picture of God’s love by using eleven superlatives:

  • “For God” . . . . . the greatest lover.
  • “So loved” . . . . . the greatest degree.
  • “The world” . . . . . the greatest need.
  • “That He gave” . . . . . the greatest act.
  • “His one and only Son” . . . . . the greatest gift.
  • “That whoever” . . . . . the greatest opportunity.
  • “Believes in Him” . . . . . the greatest opportunity.
  • Should not perish” . . . . . the greatest promise
  • “Have eternal life” . . . . . the greatest possibility.

The most wonderful truth I know is that God loves every person everywhere – and that includes you. All He asks is that you accept His love and love Him in return – and eternal life will be yours.

Several years ago a mechanic was called to repair the mechanism in a giant telescope. During the lunch hour, the chief astronomer noticed that the mechanic was reading his Bible. “What good do you expect to get from that book?” he asked. “The Bible is out of date. You don’t even know who wrote it.”

The mechanic was puzzled for a moment, and then he looked up and asked, “I have been told that you make considerable use of the multiplication table in your calculations. Is that true?”

“Yes, of course,” replied the astronomer.

The mechanic continued, “Do you know who wrote the multiplication table?”

“Why, no, I guess not,” he replied.

Then said the mechanic, “How can you trust the accuracy of the multiplication table when you do not know who wrote it?”

“We trust it because – well, because it works,” the astronomer said.

The mechanic then told him, “I trust what the Bible has to say for the same reason – it works!”

The mechanic was right, of course. The truth found in the Bible meets the spiritual need of those whose lives are out of tune with God. Their lives have gotten off course and they need to get back on track.

Do you ever read a verse or a passage in the Bible and suddenly realize that it applies to something that you are going through at that very moment? Have you ever had a problem or a question and read a verse or chapter in the Bible that deals directly with it? God’s Word is always current. It gives the guidance we need. It provides answers. In other words, it works!

Having served as a pastor for more than 60 years I am currently thinking of many people whose lives were transformed and re-directed by believing the truth found in God’s Book – a man addicted to alcohol who found Christ and became a radiant witness; a father and mother who found comfort and strength when their young son was tragically killed in an automobile accident; a couple whose marriage was on the rocks who found guidance that restored their marriage; and literally hundreds of others who found in God’s Word the truth they needed in order to experience life at its best. The truth in God’s Word meets our needs. It works!

An unknown author penned these words:

“I entered the world’s great library doors.
I crossed their acres of polished floors,
I searched and searched their stacks and nooks,
But I settled at last on the Book of Books — The Bible.”

Remember this: the most desirable time to read your Bible is as often as possible. If you don’t read it you have no advantage over those who can’t read it. A Bible known is worth far more than a dozen merely owned. If you will keep it open you will never find the door of heaven shut.

Two thousand years ago in Palestine those who were devout observed three prayer times every day – 9 a.m., 12 noon, and 3 p.m. It was believed that prayer was especially meaningful if it was offered in the Temple. Therefore, every day at these three scheduled times many people could be found in the Temple praying. Jesus was there one day and called attention to two men who were praying (Luke 18:9-14).

One of them was a Pharisee. He was not there to pray to God. His prayer sounds very much like a dialogue with himself. True prayer is always offered to God and to God alone. He wasn’t dependent upon God. Rather, he was dependent upon himself. God doesn’t listen to this kind of insincere prayers.

God does not hear a comparative prayer. The Pharisee took the wrong measurements, comparing himself with a tax collector. He was looking down on another human being rather than up to God. He grasped this scheduled prayer time as an opportunity to brag on himself by putting another man down. No person’s status with God is based on being better than others. We are to be all that God gifted us to be. In our prayers the only acceptable basis of comparison is to compare our lives with Jesus Christ.

God does not hear any prayer that is based merely on externals. The Pharisee’s prayer was based on the unstable foundation of what he had done, not what he was or needed to become. Both what he had done and what he had abstained from doing were on the surface. He had accomplished it all himself. He had not depended on God to accomplish anything. Basically, he wanted God to know what a good fellow he was.

Jesus wants us to understand that pride twists and distorts our capacity for self-scrutiny. God created our minds to be truth-gathering computers. But prayers such as that of the Pharisee will make us ignore reality and forget the things that are beneath the surface agenda of our conscious perceptions and desires. Prayers such as the one prayed by this Pharisee delude us into believing that we can be right with God because of our own accomplishments and self-imagined goodness.

The purpose of prayer is to see things as they are: ourselves as we really are and God as He has reveals Himself to be through His Word. The Pharisee could only see himself. He went away from the Temple conscious only of his self-imagined goodness. Thus, he went home as empty as he came. What a pity!

The other man to whom Jesus called attention was a tax-collector. He stood afar off, and would not even lift his eyes toward heaven. His prayer was simply this: “God be merciful to me, a sinner.” His implication was not a reluctant admission that he had made a few minor mistakes. He had really screwed up his life, and he wanted God’s help. Jesus was saying, “It is heart-broken, humble prayer that God hears and blesses.”

No one who is full of pride can genuinely pray. It has been said that the gate of heaven is so low that no one can enter it unless he is on his knees. All a person needs to say is, “Just as I am, without one plea, But that thy blood was shed for me, and that thou bidd’st me come to thee, O lamb of God, I come, I come.”

No one who despises or looks down on other persons can pray sincerely. In prayer we do not lift ourselves above others. We remember that we are sinners, and that we stand in need of God’s mercy and grace. No matter how great our need or how heavy our burdens may be, God is only a prayer away. If we will hem in both ends of every day with prayer, they won’t be nearly as likely to unravel in the middle.

And remember this: nothing lies outside the reach of prayer except that which is outside the will of God.

In 1869 the world’s most famous farm was in Cardiff, New York. Workmen digging a well claimed to find the fossilized body of a man over ten feet tall that weighed nearly 3,000 pounds. Owner William Newell looked happy. Who wouldn’t have been? He saw it as a quick way to become both rich and famous.

What a fantastic discovery! Two professors on Yale University’s faculty, one a paleontologist and the other a chemist, agreed that the giant was authentic. So did poet Ralph Waldo Emerson and Judge Oliver Wendell Holmes. The news spread rapidly across America.

Other experts smelled a hoax, but that didn’t hurt ticket sales. The discovery helped Newell raise prices from five cents per visit to one dollar. P.T. Barnum, the circus showman and master of deception, offered to buy the act. Somehow Newell seemed to be expecting him. Intense negotiations followed, but Newell was overconfident. He spurned Barnum’s offer of $60,000 for a three-month lease of the fossil.

Barnum turned around and walked away. “He will be back with a better offer,” Newell boasted. The slick showman went out and hired a skilled sculptor to create a duplicate of the fossil. The following year the people interested in seeing the unusual fossil did not need to travel way out in the country to see Newell’s prize possession. They paid higher prices to see a “twin fossil” when Barnum’s circus came to their town. Having lost his best prospect, Newell sold to other investors. This group lost heavily and sought an injunction against Barnum, claiming that his fossil was not real.

They were surprised when Barnum admitted his giant wasn’t real. He told them that he had hired a stonecutter to chisel a copy of Newell’s fossil from a block of gypsum, then age the creature with sulfuric acid. There was no law against creating duplicates, and the public caught on. The original was also a hoax. An investigation revealed that Newell had a silent partner, George Hull, who had once purchased a huge block of gypsum in Indiana and employed George Hull, a Chicago stonecutter.

Pressured by mounting evidence Hull confessed. Angry investors then sued Newell. The only money anyone finally made was by P.T Barnum, probably the original target of Newell’s scam. Both Newell and Hull learned that you should never try to con a con artist. You will lose money every time.

In the wilderness temptations of Jesus, Satan tried to convince Him to take a shortcut on His earthly mission. “Avoid the pain and rejection of people,” Satan said. “Make a deal with me and you will not have to suffer the agony of a crucifixion or the darkness of death. You only need to bow down and worship me.”

If Christ had accepted Satan’s offer it would have been the ultimate hoax – and history’s biggest disappointment and greatest tragedy. But it didn’t happen that way. Read the four gospels. Jesus went willingly to the cross. It was God’s way of demonstrating how much He loves every single individual who has ever lived – or will ever live in the future. With His Son’s mission fulfilled, God raised Him from the dead. He did this so that every human being who accepts Him as Savior and Lord might have everlasting life.

Are you a Christian? The road to heaven begins at the foot of Calvary’s cross. If you want to travel that road there is only one way to do it: You must go to Calvary’s cross, confess your sins, lay them down, accept Christ as your Savior and Lord, turn to the right, and keep straight ahead.

There is no other way!

The book of Psalms contains more prayers than any other section of God’s Word. These prayers are in the form of inspired poems that God’s people sang and recited in expressing their faith: during worship, while traveling down the road, in their daily activities at home, and in every other kind of circumstance. They contain and project full emotions – all the way from exuberant joy to frantic despair.

From a biblical point of view, prayer may be defined as a believer’s communication with God. There are three main elements in prayer: (1) God, (2) the believer, and (3) the communication. If one of these components is missing, prayer cannot occur. Take away God, the believer, or communication and prayer becomes impossible. Why is this true? Without God no one listens; without the believer no one speaks; without communication nothing is said.

The second element in our definition of prayer is the believer. Prayer always involves a human source. God Himself ultimately gives us the ability to pray, but the human instrument still serves as the creaturely source of communication. Prayer emerges from the human mind and heart. We must take care to appreciate this gracious and remarkable gift. We talk to God and He listens.

Whatever a believer’s need may be, and however strong it may be, it can be fully expressed in prayer. It is why the psalmist prayed: “All my longings lie open before you, O Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you. My heart pounds, my strength fails me; even the light has gone from my eyes” (Psalm 38:9-10).

The third element of prayer is the communication. Many Christians design their prayers by using the anagram ACTS – “Adoration, Confession Thanksgiving, and Supplication.” Others design many of their prayers by using the anagram JOY– “Jesus first, Others second, and Yourself third.” These models for designing the content of prayer help many Christians to pray effectively – especially new believers – to balance all they want to include in their prayers.

The prayers found in the Psalms contain all kinds of expressions and patterns. And so can the prayers of twenty-first century Christians today. A mother who has given birth to a stillborn child may find it difficult to begin her prayer with adoration. She would probably need to express her grief and pain. Whatever the need or circumstance with which a believer is dealing, it can be and should be expressed freely and openly with God. Openness and honesty is always appropriate for any believer’s prayer.

The only prayer God cannot answer is one that has not been prayed. That is why He said to the prophet Jeremiah, “Am I only a God nearby, and not a God far away? Can anyone hide in secret places so that I cannot see him? Do not I fill heaven and earth?” (Jeremiah 23:23-24).

Remember this: God is only a prayer away. This thought is captured in these words by John Newton:

Behold the throne of grace!
The promise calls me near:
There Jesus shows a smiling face,
And waits to answer prayer.

Gerald Mann, in When the Bad Times Are Over for Good, tells the story of a hunting trip he had taken in eastern Alberta, Canada. When his group jumped into their truck to head out for the first day of their hunt they discovered that all the forward gears were broken. The guide said, “We’ll have to back up to the nearest town and get another vehicle.” The nearest town was 40 miles away.

They started down the narrow road backward at about 20 miles per hour until they came up behind a farmer pulling a trailer full of heifers. He was going about 10 miles per hour and had no rear view mirrors. This, of course, would have made the 40 miles by the hunters an exasperating experience. Finally they saw an opening to pass. The driver inched out into the oncoming lane and gunned it.

The farmer had been totally unaware that another vehicle was traveling behind him. Imagine his shock and surprise when he looked to his left and saw a truck passing him that was going backwards. It startled him so totally that he plowed into the snow bank on the side of the road. His trailer came unhitched from his truck, and the heifers he was carrying were scattered in all directions.

Fortunately, no one was hurt in the accident. The hunters helped the farmer get his heifers back into his trailer and they continued on their way – still traveling in reverse gear, of course. All of a sudden the road was a mass of red lights.

The hunters couldn’t think of a single thing they had done wrong. When they voiced that thought to the Royal Canadian Mounted Policeman, the officer said, “Oh yes, you did something wrong. We have a law in Canada that prohibits drivers from going forward down the road while driving in reverse gear!”

Going forward while driving backward must not be illegal in our country in some ways – because a lot of people try to do it – in government, in various organizations – and, yes, also in churches. Some are so satisfied with where they have been that they are not interested in where they should be going. They either do not have a forward gear or else they are not willing to use it. They spend their time backing up.

Any organization – church, civic club, business, school, industry, etc. – that spends its time and energy backing up, even in the best case scenario, has arrived at the point of mediocrity – and is rapidly heading in the direction of non-existence. This is especially true of lots of churches in our country today. They are not growing because they are not reaching their community with the message of the Christian gospel. They are satisfied to remain as they are.

They are like the hunters in Alberta, Canada described by Gerald Mann. They say they would like to go forward, but they are backing up. They are so wedded to their yesterdays and satisfied with their present that they cannot see the harvest all around them that is ready and waiting to be gathered.

Jesus said to His disciples, “Do not say, ‘Four months more and then the harvest’; I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. Even now the reaper draws his wages, and even now he harvests the crop for eternal life, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together” (John 4:35-36).

What Jesus, in essence, is saying is this: “No church will ever be able to go forward by backing up!” Is your church moving forward? Or is it backing up? It can’t do both simultaneously.